I've been feeling rather alone, lately, which is not what you'd expect since I live in a house with five other people, and since I sleep in a bed with two men named Will most nights (not as amazing as it sounds, friends, considering one is 2 and the other is 42). Maybe this is a good time to clarify. I feel alone in this parenting journey I'm on. Most days, I feel like Will and I are on this island surrounded by children who happen to be in every, distinct childhood phase known to man. We are dealing with a toddler, an 8-year old, a junior higher and a senior in high school. Is there any age we're missing? Don't answer that.
A lot of days I feel like nobody else can relate to me in the joys and woes of my particular mommy-hood. One minute I'm rejoicing over my two-year old pooping in the potty, the next minute, I'm making sure my 8-year-old has fed her bunny and done her homework, next I'm counseling my 13-year old on what it means to make "wise" decisions on the back of the bus and the second after that, I'm discussing colleges and serious relationship stuff with my 17-year old. Hello? Can anyone relate??
A lot of my friends are in that kindergarten/preschool stage, where they have kids six and under, which I am amazed by. I have several friends who have three children under five or six and I am just blown away by these women. I'm not sure I could do that. I have other friends who are just starting their families with baby number one and then I have other dear friends who have already sent off most of their babies to colleges and careers. I love this diversity. But, talking to them about what my 13- and 17-year olds are facing is not the same as what their 3- and 5-year olds are dealing with or what their 21- and 23-year olds are going through. I don't know any other 32-year old women who are raising two teenagers and also raising a crazy man toddler and a second grader. Some days this makes me feel sad and alone, on my island, since I don't have anyone who can relate to Pull-ups and tantrums one minute and algebra and hour-long discussions on making the right life-choices the next.
Some of you may be asking, "Well, Becky, why don't you join one of those mom groups in your area?" I'm glad you brought that up! Not to bash MOPS or any other mom group in my community, but I honestly have come to resent those groups. I'm not proud of that; I'm just admitting it. These groups advertise that mothers can find encouragement and friendship with other mothers, yet they seem to be designed for women who don't work a 5-day-a-week, traditional career outside of the home. This really bothers me. I don't like the stay-at-home mom vs. career mom war that silently breaks apart so many women, so I say all of this hoping to open some dialogue among the diversity of mothers I know, or at least to get them thinking. As mothers, we could all benefit from each others' experiences, whether we work 60 hours a week in a factory or whether we stay at home and orchestrate the best play dates in our neighborhood. We need to figure out a better way to broaden the mommy spectrum when it comes to "groups." Okay, my rant is over. Back to our regular broadcasting.
At this point in my journey, I take heart in the fact that I have many friends who are mothers, even if they're not sharing in my exact journey. So, I should probably quit my whining and revel in the fact that I have lots of women that can provide wisdom and support along the way. They may not be able to commiserate with the exact craziness of my household, but I'll take it. And, at the end of the day, I'm not alone on an island. I have what many women yearn for all their lives - a house brimming with children, their stories and their experiences and I get to be called their mom. And, maybe one of these days I'll start that support group for working moms. It will just have to come after we've pooped in the potty, after our homework is done, after we've gone to basketball practice and after we've discussed the daily saga that is high school. I'll make it work.
