I went to Madison, Wisconsin for two days, without the hubby and without the kids. Wow. It's been a long time since I've traveled anywhere alone. Don't get me wrong. I missed them incredibly. In fact, I realized that my identity has been really wrapped up in them in recent years. Here's a few more things I observed along the way. Some are personal to me; others are just random things I noticed.
1. I like adventure. I was talking to my sister while I was gone and she said, "I would never be able to drive to Madison alone and stay in a hotel alone and do all of that alone." I laughed out loud, because that seems so foreign to me. Granted, going to Madison is not really an adventure, but like I said before, it has been a long time since I've gone anywhere by myself. I had forgotten how much I like the thrill of not knowing what's ahead on the road, literally and figuratively. Maybe this explains why, at 16, I jumped in my car and thought I could make it to Chicago alone ...
2. Why do hotel rooms seem so much bigger when it's just one person staying there?
3. My family still needs me even when I'm 250 miles away. At least that's how I'm explaining the texts and phone calls that kept coming from them even though they knew I was nowhere near.
4. I really didn't need the 9 pillows that the Marriott provided. Although, they were pretty comfy.
5. The mini-shampoos and lotions are really good in some hotels. I mean really good. I take all of them home with me.
6. Rude people and nice people are found equally no matter where you go.
7. Rolling suitcases make life so much easier. Books, toiletries, shoes and clothes are heavy when you lug them around in a duffle bag.
8. Does anyone remember when hotels (and society in general) weren't so "eco-friendly?" You could ask housekeeping to wash your towels and give you new linens every night without feeling guilty. Not so much anymore.
9. Wisconsin hotels publish their room rates and the statutes that govern those rates in their hotel rooms. Does anyone else pay attention to that? Can't they at least put a good Cosmo or Time or People magazine in the rooms instead?
10. Despite the "adventure," it feels good to come home.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Lessons Learned from Valentine's Day
A good friend of mine posted on FB that Valentine's Day sure does change when you have kids. Boy, is she right! I was thinking the exact same thing yesterday. But I was pleasantly surprised at how much fun I had making Valentine's Day special for the whole fam, and not just Will and I. Actually, it was a pretty good reality check for me.
When I knew that Will and I weren't going to be able to celebrate as a couple over the weekend and that Valentine's Day fell on a Monday (who scheduled that, by the way?), I thought I should do something to incorporate the kids. It's been a while since we've had the means to do gifts & flowers and the whole Valentine works for the kids, so when I found out that Jasmine didn't have plans with her beau and more amazingly that nobody had any extracurricular activities that night, I knew this would be a great opportunity to spread the love.
What I realized yesterday, really what I had forgotten, is how much I love to love. I love to give gifts. I love to make people happy with kind little gestures. I am good at giving love. Rather, I used to be. This whole loving others thing (especially those who really matter) has not been my forte in recent years, because I have been so wrapped up in what I'm not getting. Valentine's Day is the perfect example of this. Usually, I focus on how I could make Valentine's Day special for Will and I. Worse, I was always expecting my husband to make Valentine's Day special for me. Oh my, I said it. But it's true. I am a hopeless romantic, so when I think of a good Valentine's Day, I think of flowers, chocolates, gifts, a romantic dinner, an evening out on the town, everything you see in the movies.
What's happened though is life. Kids, jobs, errands, bills ... did I say kids? Because of all of the commitments we have now, Valentine's Day hasn't been the same for a while. Valentine's Day comes and goes with little fanfare and I'm left with disappointment and resentment, not flowers and gifts. Not the best attitude for a day reserved for love.
But, this year, I was determined to make the best of it. So, I sent out formal invitations to my kids and hubby "cordially inviting" them to a Valentine's dinner. I splurged on steak and shrimp, sparkling juice, flowers for everyone, and little gifts so everyone could feel special. Everyone dressed up for the dinner and we had fun reading through all the Valentine's cards everyone received. I had so much fun making an event out of this day that I'm pretty sure I was glowing by the end of it.
I learned something huge this Valentine's Day. When I take the focus off of me and what I'm not getting or what I think I deserve, and when I stop throwing an inner tantrum, pity-party for myself and I take the time to focus on other people, man I feel good! This has been one of the best Valentine's Days I've had in a long time. Oh, and while I was busy trying to make everything work for our dinner, my husband was out exceeding my expectations for Valentine's Day. Funny how that works, huh?
I'm hoping I can take a little of that Valentine's Day love and spread it around everyday. Maybe not steak and shrimp and gifts everyday, but I think I can make it work.
When I knew that Will and I weren't going to be able to celebrate as a couple over the weekend and that Valentine's Day fell on a Monday (who scheduled that, by the way?), I thought I should do something to incorporate the kids. It's been a while since we've had the means to do gifts & flowers and the whole Valentine works for the kids, so when I found out that Jasmine didn't have plans with her beau and more amazingly that nobody had any extracurricular activities that night, I knew this would be a great opportunity to spread the love.
What I realized yesterday, really what I had forgotten, is how much I love to love. I love to give gifts. I love to make people happy with kind little gestures. I am good at giving love. Rather, I used to be. This whole loving others thing (especially those who really matter) has not been my forte in recent years, because I have been so wrapped up in what I'm not getting. Valentine's Day is the perfect example of this. Usually, I focus on how I could make Valentine's Day special for Will and I. Worse, I was always expecting my husband to make Valentine's Day special for me. Oh my, I said it. But it's true. I am a hopeless romantic, so when I think of a good Valentine's Day, I think of flowers, chocolates, gifts, a romantic dinner, an evening out on the town, everything you see in the movies.
What's happened though is life. Kids, jobs, errands, bills ... did I say kids? Because of all of the commitments we have now, Valentine's Day hasn't been the same for a while. Valentine's Day comes and goes with little fanfare and I'm left with disappointment and resentment, not flowers and gifts. Not the best attitude for a day reserved for love.
But, this year, I was determined to make the best of it. So, I sent out formal invitations to my kids and hubby "cordially inviting" them to a Valentine's dinner. I splurged on steak and shrimp, sparkling juice, flowers for everyone, and little gifts so everyone could feel special. Everyone dressed up for the dinner and we had fun reading through all the Valentine's cards everyone received. I had so much fun making an event out of this day that I'm pretty sure I was glowing by the end of it.
I learned something huge this Valentine's Day. When I take the focus off of me and what I'm not getting or what I think I deserve, and when I stop throwing an inner tantrum, pity-party for myself and I take the time to focus on other people, man I feel good! This has been one of the best Valentine's Days I've had in a long time. Oh, and while I was busy trying to make everything work for our dinner, my husband was out exceeding my expectations for Valentine's Day. Funny how that works, huh?
I'm hoping I can take a little of that Valentine's Day love and spread it around everyday. Maybe not steak and shrimp and gifts everyday, but I think I can make it work.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Just another morning of insanity
Working from home is not all it's cracked up to be. Don't get me wrong. I LOVE having the opportunity to be around if my kids need me or if something just comes up that I couldn't possibly handle being at an office 50 miles away. What I really love about working from home part of the week, though, is being there when my kids walk in the door after school. I actually get excited, giddy really, when the time nears for them to come home. And, after being told in law school that I would most likely work 60+ hours a week if I ever wanted to make it big as an attorney, working from home, even part of the time, never even crossed my mind. So, this opportunity is a serious blessing.
But, after mornings like I had today, sometimes I wonder why I don't go to the office every day.
I had a phone meeting with a client at 8:30 this morning. Phone meetings in my house usually mean that I run around the house with several children running after me, one crying while I try to stifle the sound and the other usually trying to calm the crying baby, which, of course, just makes it worse. Well, this morning, I only had the baby to work with and I thought if I could get him ready and have him sit on the couch while he watched some engaging, musical, pre-school TV show, that might work.
It might have, but ...
As I tried to get him ready, I let him run around naked for 15 seconds at the most, while I picked up his dirty clothes. Next thing you know, I hear a crash in the kitchen, crying and then running feet coming back to me. I pick him up to console him as I wonder what he slipped on, when that certain not-so-good smell wafted up to my nose. Why does it smell like poop, I wonder? Well, the answer was at my feet. In that 15 seconds I had let little Will free, he managed to poop on the floor, step in it and then as he was running through our dining room, he slipped and fell. So, now there was poop on the floor, spread everywhere, poop on my shirt, my pants, his legs. Oh, and it's now 8:23.
After a quick bath for baby and a quick change for me, I get him ready in lightning speed and then call my client, hoping nothing else goes wrong while I'm on the phone. Well, little Will was quiet for the phone call, so quiet that I should've known something was wrong. I got off the phone only to find that he spilled some bright red liquid down his new clean shirt. It soaked through his Onesie, too, and I still don't know where that liquid (Kool-aid, juice?) came from. It's probably on my carpet in a location I just haven't discovered yet. He also got into my very toxic cleaning supplies and threw our unmatched socks all over the kitchen floor. So there's about 50 unmatched white socks strewn all over my kitchen.
Awesome. My house now looks like the Tasmanian Devil just tore through it.
So, while I love, love, love having the flexibility of working from home, working in peace at home is never guaranteed. Actually, it's quite the opposite at my house. Even if I work in our basement office, which I really should do more often, the kids still manage to work their way down there, just to be around me. I should be flattered, but it's hard to think clearly when someone's doing cartwheels, another is bouncing a basketball, a third is banging on some toy and my oldest is talking my ear off about the latest drama. I guess this is multi-tasking at its best?
I'm just glad the house is quiet now. For as much as I love little Will, I was okay with saying good-bye to him when we finally reached day care today. So now my day not only includes bankruptcy work and motions for new trials, but I also have to wash poopy clothes and make sure there's nothing else I didn't miss when my little tornado ripped through here. Ah, the life of a working mother. Ain't it grand?
But, after mornings like I had today, sometimes I wonder why I don't go to the office every day.
I had a phone meeting with a client at 8:30 this morning. Phone meetings in my house usually mean that I run around the house with several children running after me, one crying while I try to stifle the sound and the other usually trying to calm the crying baby, which, of course, just makes it worse. Well, this morning, I only had the baby to work with and I thought if I could get him ready and have him sit on the couch while he watched some engaging, musical, pre-school TV show, that might work.
It might have, but ...
As I tried to get him ready, I let him run around naked for 15 seconds at the most, while I picked up his dirty clothes. Next thing you know, I hear a crash in the kitchen, crying and then running feet coming back to me. I pick him up to console him as I wonder what he slipped on, when that certain not-so-good smell wafted up to my nose. Why does it smell like poop, I wonder? Well, the answer was at my feet. In that 15 seconds I had let little Will free, he managed to poop on the floor, step in it and then as he was running through our dining room, he slipped and fell. So, now there was poop on the floor, spread everywhere, poop on my shirt, my pants, his legs. Oh, and it's now 8:23.
After a quick bath for baby and a quick change for me, I get him ready in lightning speed and then call my client, hoping nothing else goes wrong while I'm on the phone. Well, little Will was quiet for the phone call, so quiet that I should've known something was wrong. I got off the phone only to find that he spilled some bright red liquid down his new clean shirt. It soaked through his Onesie, too, and I still don't know where that liquid (Kool-aid, juice?) came from. It's probably on my carpet in a location I just haven't discovered yet. He also got into my very toxic cleaning supplies and threw our unmatched socks all over the kitchen floor. So there's about 50 unmatched white socks strewn all over my kitchen.
Awesome. My house now looks like the Tasmanian Devil just tore through it.
So, while I love, love, love having the flexibility of working from home, working in peace at home is never guaranteed. Actually, it's quite the opposite at my house. Even if I work in our basement office, which I really should do more often, the kids still manage to work their way down there, just to be around me. I should be flattered, but it's hard to think clearly when someone's doing cartwheels, another is bouncing a basketball, a third is banging on some toy and my oldest is talking my ear off about the latest drama. I guess this is multi-tasking at its best?
I'm just glad the house is quiet now. For as much as I love little Will, I was okay with saying good-bye to him when we finally reached day care today. So now my day not only includes bankruptcy work and motions for new trials, but I also have to wash poopy clothes and make sure there's nothing else I didn't miss when my little tornado ripped through here. Ah, the life of a working mother. Ain't it grand?
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
No, I don't want your TV
I have come to hate many of the commercials I see on TV. Once in a while, a commercial will really strike me as funny and I'm so taken by it, I think, because it's rare that I like them. And newspaper ads or print marketing in general? Oh, don't even go there. But, let me explain.
Yesterday, I was watching a commercial for Minute Clinic. Not that there's anything wrong with Minute Clinic, because it is a good thing for many people, but ... The commercial showed a woman in a skirt suit (which looked all too familiar to me) and she's rushing around in the morning trying to get ready and trying to get her kids out the door. She looks at her watch and the announcer is saying something like there's no time. Then she's at her office and she's trying to get things done. Again, she looks at her watch and we all hear again that there's no time. Then she's off to the grocery store and she's in a rush (again, this entire commercial is looking ALL TOO FAMILIAR to me) but now she acts as if her throat is hurting.
So what does she do? Why of course, she just trots on over to the Minute Clinic, because, as the announcer says so matter-of-factly, our time is so precious that when minutes count, blah, blah, blah. Then, after she is "healed" at the Minute Clinic, she picks up her kids from school and says, "Should we go to the park?" Like the Minute Clinic miraculously just made time for her to spend two hours at the park with her kids?! You've got to be kidding me.
Like I said, there is nothing wrong with the Minute Clinic or any clinic like that. What I was so incredibly disheartened by, is that we are being forced to believe that we don't even have time to be sick anymore. The message we constantly receive and the message constantly reinforced is you literally only have one minute to take care of yourself. Don't even think about being sick, because there's too much work to be done for Corporate America and there's too much work to be done at home.
Wow. That is so sad to me. For women in particular, I think this becomes a serious issue. We all hear that we really need to take time for ourselves. But, that never happens because the message is there's no time to take time for ourselves. Obviously, that's why we have the Minute Clinic.
Okay, that was Gripe No. 1. Onto No. 2.
I've seen multiple newspaper inserts on great deals on TVs "just in time for the Superbowl." What's worse ... this amazing phenomenon of TVs being on sale just for the Superbowl was actually on the news. The news, people! So, instead of saving my money or putting it into an investment account or just buying groceries so my family can eat, I'm being told that I can get a great deal on a 700" TV just for the Superbowl. Are we insane? Last time I checked, the unemployment rate was still pretty high.
I will admit, there are really great deals on TVs right now. And I know every holiday and every big event we can tie a bow on makes for a market company's dream, but, oh the pressure to go out and buy a new TV just for the Superbowl! We have to do it, because the Joneses down the street just bought one and they got 60% off. I'm just stunned that none of us stand up and say, "Stop treating us like idiots. We're not going to buy your stinkin' TV because we really don't need one for a football game." And maybe that's it; maybe I'm not a big enough football fan to know how important it is to watch the Superbowl on a brand new TV. Or maybe I'm just not wealthy enough to have the disposable income to go buy a brand new TV on a whim, or because I saw a great deal in an ad somewhere.
Or when it comes down to it, maybe it's the fact that I tend to buck authority and that I bristle at being told what I should and shouldn't do by someone who really doesn't know what's best for me. But I just want to urge my friends to really evaluate the messages that we are inundated with every second now. Are these really the values that we hold? Like I tell my kids, "Do you really NEED that?"
Maybe this is why I don't watch much TV anymore. I still want to believe that if I have strep throat, I can take at least a day to recover and I can take the time to see my doctor. And, I still want to believe that the TV I bought three years ago is good enough to watch this weekend. But maybe, just maybe, if I watch all of the million-dollar commercials during the Superbowl (on my 3-year-old TV) I'll find one I do like. We'll see.
Oh, and don't even get me started on the Victoria's Secret commercials ...
Yesterday, I was watching a commercial for Minute Clinic. Not that there's anything wrong with Minute Clinic, because it is a good thing for many people, but ... The commercial showed a woman in a skirt suit (which looked all too familiar to me) and she's rushing around in the morning trying to get ready and trying to get her kids out the door. She looks at her watch and the announcer is saying something like there's no time. Then she's at her office and she's trying to get things done. Again, she looks at her watch and we all hear again that there's no time. Then she's off to the grocery store and she's in a rush (again, this entire commercial is looking ALL TOO FAMILIAR to me) but now she acts as if her throat is hurting.
So what does she do? Why of course, she just trots on over to the Minute Clinic, because, as the announcer says so matter-of-factly, our time is so precious that when minutes count, blah, blah, blah. Then, after she is "healed" at the Minute Clinic, she picks up her kids from school and says, "Should we go to the park?" Like the Minute Clinic miraculously just made time for her to spend two hours at the park with her kids?! You've got to be kidding me.
Like I said, there is nothing wrong with the Minute Clinic or any clinic like that. What I was so incredibly disheartened by, is that we are being forced to believe that we don't even have time to be sick anymore. The message we constantly receive and the message constantly reinforced is you literally only have one minute to take care of yourself. Don't even think about being sick, because there's too much work to be done for Corporate America and there's too much work to be done at home.
Wow. That is so sad to me. For women in particular, I think this becomes a serious issue. We all hear that we really need to take time for ourselves. But, that never happens because the message is there's no time to take time for ourselves. Obviously, that's why we have the Minute Clinic.
Okay, that was Gripe No. 1. Onto No. 2.
I've seen multiple newspaper inserts on great deals on TVs "just in time for the Superbowl." What's worse ... this amazing phenomenon of TVs being on sale just for the Superbowl was actually on the news. The news, people! So, instead of saving my money or putting it into an investment account or just buying groceries so my family can eat, I'm being told that I can get a great deal on a 700" TV just for the Superbowl. Are we insane? Last time I checked, the unemployment rate was still pretty high.
I will admit, there are really great deals on TVs right now. And I know every holiday and every big event we can tie a bow on makes for a market company's dream, but, oh the pressure to go out and buy a new TV just for the Superbowl! We have to do it, because the Joneses down the street just bought one and they got 60% off. I'm just stunned that none of us stand up and say, "Stop treating us like idiots. We're not going to buy your stinkin' TV because we really don't need one for a football game." And maybe that's it; maybe I'm not a big enough football fan to know how important it is to watch the Superbowl on a brand new TV. Or maybe I'm just not wealthy enough to have the disposable income to go buy a brand new TV on a whim, or because I saw a great deal in an ad somewhere.
Or when it comes down to it, maybe it's the fact that I tend to buck authority and that I bristle at being told what I should and shouldn't do by someone who really doesn't know what's best for me. But I just want to urge my friends to really evaluate the messages that we are inundated with every second now. Are these really the values that we hold? Like I tell my kids, "Do you really NEED that?"
Maybe this is why I don't watch much TV anymore. I still want to believe that if I have strep throat, I can take at least a day to recover and I can take the time to see my doctor. And, I still want to believe that the TV I bought three years ago is good enough to watch this weekend. But maybe, just maybe, if I watch all of the million-dollar commercials during the Superbowl (on my 3-year-old TV) I'll find one I do like. We'll see.
Oh, and don't even get me started on the Victoria's Secret commercials ...
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