Lessons Learned from Valentine's Day

A good friend of mine posted on FB that Valentine's Day sure does change when you have kids.  Boy, is she right!  I was thinking the exact same thing yesterday.  But I was pleasantly surprised at how much fun I had making Valentine's Day special for the whole fam, and not just Will and I.  Actually, it was a pretty good reality check for me.

When I knew that Will and I weren't going to be able to celebrate as a couple over the weekend and that Valentine's Day fell on a Monday (who scheduled that, by the way?), I thought I should do something to incorporate the kids.  It's been a while since we've had the means to do gifts & flowers and the whole Valentine works for the kids, so when I found out that Jasmine didn't have plans with her beau and more amazingly that nobody had any extracurricular activities that night, I knew this would be a great opportunity to spread the love.

What I realized yesterday, really what I had forgotten, is how much I love to love.  I love to give gifts.  I love to make people happy with kind little gestures.  I am good at giving love.  Rather, I used to be.  This whole loving others thing (especially those who really matter) has not been my forte in recent years, because I have been so wrapped up in what I'm not getting.  Valentine's Day is the perfect example of this.  Usually, I focus on how I could make Valentine's Day special for Will and I.  Worse, I was always expecting my husband to make Valentine's Day special for me.   Oh my, I said it.   But it's true.  I am a hopeless romantic, so when I think of a good Valentine's Day, I think of flowers, chocolates, gifts, a romantic dinner, an evening out on the town, everything you see in the movies. 

What's happened though is life.  Kids, jobs, errands, bills ... did I say kids?  Because of all of the commitments we have now, Valentine's Day hasn't been the same for a while.  Valentine's Day comes and goes with little fanfare and I'm left with disappointment and resentment, not flowers and gifts.  Not the best attitude for a day reserved for love.

But, this year, I was determined to make the best of it.  So, I sent out formal invitations to my kids and hubby "cordially inviting" them to a Valentine's dinner.  I splurged on steak and shrimp, sparkling juice, flowers for everyone, and little gifts so everyone could feel special.  Everyone dressed up for the dinner and we had fun reading through all the Valentine's cards everyone received.  I had so much fun making an event out of this day that I'm pretty sure I was glowing by the end of it. 

I learned something huge this Valentine's Day.  When I take the focus off of me and what I'm not getting or what I think I deserve, and when I stop throwing an inner tantrum, pity-party for myself and I take the time to focus on other people, man I feel good!  This has been one of the best Valentine's Days I've had in a long time.  Oh, and while I was busy trying to make everything work for our dinner, my husband was out exceeding my expectations for Valentine's Day.  Funny how that works, huh?

I'm hoping I can take a little of that Valentine's Day love and spread it around everyday.  Maybe not steak and shrimp and gifts everyday, but I think I can make it work.