I love summer. Well, really I love summer break. I have to admit I get giddy when that last week of school arrives in early June for my kids. No more crazy schedules (well, less hectic, not entirely lacking in crazy). No more school lunches to worry about. No more homework, projects and papers for me to sign. It's just a respite from the regular and I love it.
But on the eve of summer break ending, I am ready to say good-bye to this summer. It's bittersweet to me because I was so looking forward to this summer. The summer of 2010 was especially great. We didn't do amazing things, but it just seemed every day was filled with something fun. I certainly thought the greatness of last summer would spill over into this summer, especially when we solidified our plans for Disney World, a trip I've been wanting to give my children for years. I thought this summer would be amazing.
And, there certainly were parts of it that were amazing. But, much of it was overshadowed by some pretty dark days. Even the much-anticipated Disney trip was overshadowed by Will's broken knee and the news of my skin cancer. At that point, it seemed that this summer was doomed. What I also learned is that it's incredibly difficult when one of the adults in a household is sick or struggling with health issues. But two? All I'm going to say is it takes its toll - on everything and everyone.
So, as my children prepare to go back to school, I am actually giddy tonight. Really, I'm hopeful. Jasmine starts her senior year of high school. Jadyn starts junior high. Janessa starts second grade. There's a sense of clean renewal in my home. I can feel the dark of this summer leaving our house, even as the craziness of the school year falls on us. This summer was a surprisingly trying season in our lives. I don't know why we experienced everything we did. And I don't need to. What I do know is that I need to savor every moment of life, whether it shows up as planned or not. I also learned that there's more to me than I've been letting surface in recent years. Funny how a brush with the C-word brings out parts of you that you had forgotten were there. And, I know that struggles make life sweeter.
With those lessons learned, I'm hopeful for what this new season of life will bring and I'm more than ready to say good-bye to summer 2011.
Monday, September 5, 2011
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Finding Love When a Mole Goes Malignant
If you don't know by now, I write in order to process things. That's what this particular blog is about: processing. But, I'm at a stage with the material in this post where it's still new and fresh. I'm not reminiscing on something from 20 years ago. This is the here-and-now for me. So, while I never want to restrict anyone's freedom to comment how they will, just know that I care very deeply about this post.
I was at the Peach Tree Mall in Columbus, Georgia when my doctor called and asked if I had a few minutes to talk. I kid you not, my heart dropped into my stomach. I knew this was not going to be good. I've received a lot of bad news over the phone, but this? I didn't know about this. "Well, the pathologists looked at your mole and you do have malignant melanoma." Her words came so fast that I barely had time to get over to a bench to sit down. The tears started streaming down my face. Instantly, I felt like my body was floating, like I was in a dream. "Okay," I managed to stammer into the phone. "What does this mean?"
She talked ever-so kindly about how they were going to be with me every step of the way and she talked about how there was a real chance that the cancer had spread based on the melanoma's depth into my skin. But, there I was, in the Peach Tree mall, still floating. I had to gain control. Malignant? Wait, I have cancer? It was too much. My doctor said she wanted to take the liberty of scheduling things over at Mayo Clinic in Rochester. Whoa, now this is really serious, I thought. I floated back to Will, who was with Jadyn and Janessa and Willie and I could barely utter the words. I was so happy Jasmine had gone off to dinner. There would have been no hiding it then. All I could tell Will was that it's malignant. I thought he was going to lose it right there in that store. But he couldn't. I couldn't. We were in the Peach Tree mall, after all, on vacation.
I rarely look at my skin. Yes, yes, I look at my body when I shower and bathe, but really look at my skin? Not so much. But, this mole on my ankle was changing. Significantly. In fact, I love taking baths and it was during the few minutes of privacy I would get in the bath tub that I could actually inspect this mole. At first it got bigger. Okay, I could rationalize that. Then the edges started to get wavy. Hmmm, I'm just seeing things, aren't I? Then, what seemed to be another mole, only black, started to protrude from my original mole. I knew that couldn't be good.
But, cancer?
It still seems so entirely unreal to say that word: cancer. Actually, I haven't really said it. Not about me anyway. When the doctor told me that if this has spread, we would have to do chemo, all I could think about were my children and husband. I cannot be sick. I don't have time to be sick. Who would take care of everyone who depends on me? I was sick to my stomach for days. But life went on. After all, we were on vacation, right? We conquered Disney World in three days. Went to Cocoa Beach. Visited Will's family. Ate, shopped and made merry. All the while, I still seemed to be floating in a dream. But I had to go on. Life doesn't wait and children certainly don't.
We didn't tell the children until after we arrived home. I did not want to burden them with this news. I have lived to make their lives as burden-free as possible. But, I also believed it was their right to know. Will told them. Our living room has never been as silent. I was instantly brought back to my dining room table when I was 11 and my dad was telling us that my mom had cancer. I automatically remembered details about that day and prayed to God this wasn't scarring my children. I know they are strong. That's how I'm raising them to be, right?
I don't blog often of my faith specifically, but here's what I absolutely know to be fact: God Almighty moves through the power of prayer. When people go before his throne and petition Him, He listens. And when you know Him personally, He provides hope that is not of this world. For this, I am thankful.
The cancer has been cut out of my ankle. Instead of a changing, ugly mole, I'll have a 6-inch scar that declares I'm a survivor. I'm still waiting to hear if it has spread. I have an uncanny peace that it hasn't. What I'm amazed by, truly amazed by, is how many incredible people have stepped forward and provided help and love and support. I'm the worst ever at asking for help, but people have stepped up in droves saying they are with me and they've showed it. I have texts, e-mails, cards and flowers proving how amazing all of my friends are. One of my best friends came over yesterday and said she was talking to someone about me and she told that person, "If you don't just go over and do it, Becky will never ask for help." I laughed because she knows me so well, but I was truly happy because so many people have done just that: helped me in my time of need.
I'm always trying to become a better woman no matter what curve balls life throws me, but what I've realized through this is that I have become a better woman because of the people around me. I am beyond blessed to have a whole network of people, family and friends, who genuinely care for me. Now that is something cancer can never take from me. Melanoma did not know that I have an army of people backing me. I like to believe it will step down and take notice because of all the love.
I was at the Peach Tree Mall in Columbus, Georgia when my doctor called and asked if I had a few minutes to talk. I kid you not, my heart dropped into my stomach. I knew this was not going to be good. I've received a lot of bad news over the phone, but this? I didn't know about this. "Well, the pathologists looked at your mole and you do have malignant melanoma." Her words came so fast that I barely had time to get over to a bench to sit down. The tears started streaming down my face. Instantly, I felt like my body was floating, like I was in a dream. "Okay," I managed to stammer into the phone. "What does this mean?"
She talked ever-so kindly about how they were going to be with me every step of the way and she talked about how there was a real chance that the cancer had spread based on the melanoma's depth into my skin. But, there I was, in the Peach Tree mall, still floating. I had to gain control. Malignant? Wait, I have cancer? It was too much. My doctor said she wanted to take the liberty of scheduling things over at Mayo Clinic in Rochester. Whoa, now this is really serious, I thought. I floated back to Will, who was with Jadyn and Janessa and Willie and I could barely utter the words. I was so happy Jasmine had gone off to dinner. There would have been no hiding it then. All I could tell Will was that it's malignant. I thought he was going to lose it right there in that store. But he couldn't. I couldn't. We were in the Peach Tree mall, after all, on vacation.
I rarely look at my skin. Yes, yes, I look at my body when I shower and bathe, but really look at my skin? Not so much. But, this mole on my ankle was changing. Significantly. In fact, I love taking baths and it was during the few minutes of privacy I would get in the bath tub that I could actually inspect this mole. At first it got bigger. Okay, I could rationalize that. Then the edges started to get wavy. Hmmm, I'm just seeing things, aren't I? Then, what seemed to be another mole, only black, started to protrude from my original mole. I knew that couldn't be good.
But, cancer?
It still seems so entirely unreal to say that word: cancer. Actually, I haven't really said it. Not about me anyway. When the doctor told me that if this has spread, we would have to do chemo, all I could think about were my children and husband. I cannot be sick. I don't have time to be sick. Who would take care of everyone who depends on me? I was sick to my stomach for days. But life went on. After all, we were on vacation, right? We conquered Disney World in three days. Went to Cocoa Beach. Visited Will's family. Ate, shopped and made merry. All the while, I still seemed to be floating in a dream. But I had to go on. Life doesn't wait and children certainly don't.
We didn't tell the children until after we arrived home. I did not want to burden them with this news. I have lived to make their lives as burden-free as possible. But, I also believed it was their right to know. Will told them. Our living room has never been as silent. I was instantly brought back to my dining room table when I was 11 and my dad was telling us that my mom had cancer. I automatically remembered details about that day and prayed to God this wasn't scarring my children. I know they are strong. That's how I'm raising them to be, right?
I don't blog often of my faith specifically, but here's what I absolutely know to be fact: God Almighty moves through the power of prayer. When people go before his throne and petition Him, He listens. And when you know Him personally, He provides hope that is not of this world. For this, I am thankful.
The cancer has been cut out of my ankle. Instead of a changing, ugly mole, I'll have a 6-inch scar that declares I'm a survivor. I'm still waiting to hear if it has spread. I have an uncanny peace that it hasn't. What I'm amazed by, truly amazed by, is how many incredible people have stepped forward and provided help and love and support. I'm the worst ever at asking for help, but people have stepped up in droves saying they are with me and they've showed it. I have texts, e-mails, cards and flowers proving how amazing all of my friends are. One of my best friends came over yesterday and said she was talking to someone about me and she told that person, "If you don't just go over and do it, Becky will never ask for help." I laughed because she knows me so well, but I was truly happy because so many people have done just that: helped me in my time of need.
I'm always trying to become a better woman no matter what curve balls life throws me, but what I've realized through this is that I have become a better woman because of the people around me. I am beyond blessed to have a whole network of people, family and friends, who genuinely care for me. Now that is something cancer can never take from me. Melanoma did not know that I have an army of people backing me. I like to believe it will step down and take notice because of all the love.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Phone privacy at work ... who needs it with kids like mine?
These are the types of phone calls I get at work and why my co-workers, past and present, think my family is so entertaining.
Phone Rings...
Me: Law Offices of JD Haas, this is Rebecca.
Jadyn: Mom, do boys & girls both have bladders? (Note: No hello or pleasantries of any sort.)
Me: Um, yes. Why did you call me at work to ask this?
Janessa yelling in the background at the same time: Let me talk to mommy!!
Jadyn: Lots of evil-older-brother laughter as he hands her the phone.
Janessa: Mommy, do boys & girls both have bladders?!?! Because Jadyn says they do, but I don't think so!
Me: Oh, Janessa. I wish I could give this one to you, but Jadyn is right. Boys and girls do both have bladders.
Jadyn: More hysterical laughter & shouting from the background: See, I told you so!
Janessa: Loud harrumphing about being wrong.
Me: Anything else about bladders that I can help you two with or can I go back to work now?
My coworkers: Raucous laughter.
Situations like this are actually why I love being a working mother. Nobody else in my workplace can boast of phone calls such as these. I mean, who else gets to referee such battles about which genders have bladders? And, I'd like to point out, this is actually good for my lawyering skills. But, it's also why I'm really grateful for bosses who don't care if I get phone calls like that, and it's why I'm really grateful for telecommuting -- so most of these conversations (which happen on a daily basis) can stay in the confines of my home office.
I also appreciate my parents perspective more now, too. I used to do the same thing being that I stayed home alone during summers. Quite often, I would call them - at work - just to check in and make sure everyone was still where they were supposed to be. This, of course, was before cell phones and the Internet. To be perfectly honest, though, I still check in with my parents on a daily basis when we're both at work, but e-mail has made my daily communications much more surreptitious.
One last phone call memory that my former OPP co-workers might cherish. When I was working at the newspaper, there was even less phone privacy than my current office provides. Granted, cubicles aren't bastions of privacy anyway. But, one of the last summers I worked at the newspaper, I got a phone call that went something like this:
Phone rings...
Me: Newsroom, this is Becky.
Jadyn: Mom, I need to have a yard sale. Please!
Me: A yard sale? Really, Jadyn?
My coworkers: Muffled chortling already.
Jadyn: Yes! I can get all my stuff ready to go, but I want to have a yard sale right now!
Me: Absolutely not. You cannot have a yard sale. Nobody's even home! I'm not there. Dad's not there.
Jadyn: I could do it!
Me: No, Jadyn. No yard sales, at least not until I get home.
Jadyn: Fine.
My coworkers: Boisterous laughter as I hang up.
This is a story that still comes up with my OPP friends and I love it. Some days work can be fairly monotonous and other days it can be really intense. No matter what, though, I know my kids will always pull through and provide some special phone entertainment to brighten everyone's day.
Friday, March 11, 2011
Cruising Again
Jadyn and I went downtown tonight to get a pizza from the Big Apple. As I approached the strip (which is really Cedar Avenue that runs through the fairly quiet four-block downtown in Owatonna), I suggested that we "cruise." Not that anyone does anymore, but for those non-Owatonnans, cruising was the major social activity for teens in my town for years. Downtown Owatonna was the place to be and I'm sure it got its cool status from my friends who were teens in the late '80s and tainted the whole place (those friends shall remain nameless ... ahem, Andrea, Karla and Karla).
Anyway, this main street in Owatonna would be backed up for blocks with cars just sitting side-by-side in traffic when cruising was the cool thing to do. People socialized, found love (lust, mostly) and really were just seen. It was a big taboo for us Christian school kids. Maybe I just remember it that way, because a lot of us certainly seemed to do it anyway. But, that's a whole different post. Back to this pizza run with my son. He was all for cruising tonight and I honestly felt like a teenager again. I was grinning from ear to ear. And, yes, even in the winter weather, I rolled down my window ... just for the good old days.
True to recent form, nobody was out tonight. Well, we did see a teenage boy in a big, ol' Chevy truck and I'd like to think that he revved his engine just for me as he passed by. Okay, who am I kidding? I was carrying a pizza in my jeans, sweatshirt and gym shoes with my 12-year-old son. Then again, weirder things have happened ...
Jadyn asked to go around the park and back downtown. I acquiesced. I did need to get pop, and Fuel & Food (which used to be Food & Fuel, but whatever) was the closest place for pop, so I justified the turn-around. This time cruising down the strip, there were even less cars downtown. I guess all the teens nowadays are off at parties getting drunk and high? (I shouldn't end that with a question mark because my inside teen source tells me this is true. Hmm, cruising really doesn't look so bad now ... )
The weird thing about cruising with Jadyn is the memories it brought back. I actually met Jadyn's dad while cruising. I told Jadyn how much I loved his dad, which is true and which I never want to withhold from him, even though I'm happily married now. Jadyn seemed to be really pleased to hear that. I want Jadyn to know that even though he was not planned, he was certainly brought into this world in love, however young that love was. When I looked across at Jadyn as I was telling him all of this, he reminded me so, so, so, so much like his dad. It's actually quite uncanny how much he is like his father. I firmly believe that DNA only goes so far, but sometimes I am looking straight at Jadyn's dad when I talk to my little boy, who's not so little anymore. And, as Jadyn gets older, I only see his dad more and more in him. Sigh. I try so hard not to resent that. I mean, it's been me all along struggling, loving, sacrificing for this boy. I wonder if all the work I put into him and my other children will show up in other ways. I hope I get that vindication at least.
Oh, but that's why broken relationships are so hard. There's always heartbreak, for at least one person. There's loss, grief, questioning. Oh, and let's not forget that little forgiveness piece and the rebuilding it takes to move on. But, broken relationships are really bad when there are kids involved. Forgiveness and rebuilding seem to be a necessity for the duration if both parents are involved in the child's life. Not an easy thing to do for most people who couldn't make it work the first time when they were in love.
Tonight, while we cruised, though, it made me pretty nostalgic. I remembered all the good times I had with my friends down there. I remembered the night I met Jadyn's dad and how giddy I was about it. The resentment must have blown out the window, because the brown eyes sitting in my passenger seat this time were the same brown eyes that used to sit in my passenger seat 15 years ago. And I was okay with that even though I'll always be a little sad for the brokenness my son never asked for. Tonight on the strip, Jadyn and I did our best to look cool for the people who weren't there. We laughed. We cranked the music. More importantly, I had a chance to validate the little boy, who may look like his father, but is certainly his own person. And just maybe, that penchant Jadyn has for things like cruising is more me than his dad ...
Anyway, this main street in Owatonna would be backed up for blocks with cars just sitting side-by-side in traffic when cruising was the cool thing to do. People socialized, found love (lust, mostly) and really were just seen. It was a big taboo for us Christian school kids. Maybe I just remember it that way, because a lot of us certainly seemed to do it anyway. But, that's a whole different post. Back to this pizza run with my son. He was all for cruising tonight and I honestly felt like a teenager again. I was grinning from ear to ear. And, yes, even in the winter weather, I rolled down my window ... just for the good old days.
True to recent form, nobody was out tonight. Well, we did see a teenage boy in a big, ol' Chevy truck and I'd like to think that he revved his engine just for me as he passed by. Okay, who am I kidding? I was carrying a pizza in my jeans, sweatshirt and gym shoes with my 12-year-old son. Then again, weirder things have happened ...
Jadyn asked to go around the park and back downtown. I acquiesced. I did need to get pop, and Fuel & Food (which used to be Food & Fuel, but whatever) was the closest place for pop, so I justified the turn-around. This time cruising down the strip, there were even less cars downtown. I guess all the teens nowadays are off at parties getting drunk and high? (I shouldn't end that with a question mark because my inside teen source tells me this is true. Hmm, cruising really doesn't look so bad now ... )
The weird thing about cruising with Jadyn is the memories it brought back. I actually met Jadyn's dad while cruising. I told Jadyn how much I loved his dad, which is true and which I never want to withhold from him, even though I'm happily married now. Jadyn seemed to be really pleased to hear that. I want Jadyn to know that even though he was not planned, he was certainly brought into this world in love, however young that love was. When I looked across at Jadyn as I was telling him all of this, he reminded me so, so, so, so much like his dad. It's actually quite uncanny how much he is like his father. I firmly believe that DNA only goes so far, but sometimes I am looking straight at Jadyn's dad when I talk to my little boy, who's not so little anymore. And, as Jadyn gets older, I only see his dad more and more in him. Sigh. I try so hard not to resent that. I mean, it's been me all along struggling, loving, sacrificing for this boy. I wonder if all the work I put into him and my other children will show up in other ways. I hope I get that vindication at least.
Oh, but that's why broken relationships are so hard. There's always heartbreak, for at least one person. There's loss, grief, questioning. Oh, and let's not forget that little forgiveness piece and the rebuilding it takes to move on. But, broken relationships are really bad when there are kids involved. Forgiveness and rebuilding seem to be a necessity for the duration if both parents are involved in the child's life. Not an easy thing to do for most people who couldn't make it work the first time when they were in love.
Tonight, while we cruised, though, it made me pretty nostalgic. I remembered all the good times I had with my friends down there. I remembered the night I met Jadyn's dad and how giddy I was about it. The resentment must have blown out the window, because the brown eyes sitting in my passenger seat this time were the same brown eyes that used to sit in my passenger seat 15 years ago. And I was okay with that even though I'll always be a little sad for the brokenness my son never asked for. Tonight on the strip, Jadyn and I did our best to look cool for the people who weren't there. We laughed. We cranked the music. More importantly, I had a chance to validate the little boy, who may look like his father, but is certainly his own person. And just maybe, that penchant Jadyn has for things like cruising is more me than his dad ...
Saturday, March 5, 2011
An Important Date
I sent my husband on a date with another woman today.
Actually, I was really pleased to see him leave with her. Of course, the woman is our youngest daughter, Janessa.
At seven, this little girl is a hoot. She has the sweetest heart of all time. Every time I get down about something or stressed about work, I know within minutes Janessa will retreat somewhere with a bunch of paper and markers and then emerge with a note saying how amazing I am and how she loves that I'm her mommy and that everyone will do better to make my life less stressful. Yes, I have gotten a note that reads almost exactly like that. Sigh.
As wonderful as she is, sometimes she gets overlooked. I hate to say that, but it's true. In our household, every day our 16 year old and 12 year old bring up something -- good or bad -- that we have to deal with. They're always talking. They're always asking to go some place. They're always in my face. And Janessa just finds her markers and notebooks and goes off to spread her amazing cheer someplace while I deal with my demanding older children. Oh, and let's not forget the baby. He kind of demands a lot of my time too.
This kills me.
So, this is why I was so delighted that my husband stepped out with her today. Janessa planned for this all week. She looked up the different movies they could see and made a list for Will. She got ready about three hours before the movie, but took time to pick out a cute outfit and do her hair. (Where she gets that, I have no idea ...) In all of that, I knew how incredibly important this was to her.
In a family of four busy children, we've found that dates with mom or dad can really make our kids days, weeks even. We've done these dates for quite a while. We've tinkered with a date schedule, but found that it's more fun when the dates come spontaneously. Jadyn and I took a recent trip to Dairy Queen because he was begging for a mother-son date. I usually have the best time on these dates. In fact, I laughed so hard at Dairy Queen with Jadyn. I came away thinking, "Wow, my son is sooooooo funny." It's a good time to actually see my children up close and personal. Sometimes I think it's crazy that I need a date with my child to get some valuable face time with them. Then again, it really allows them to have my FULL attention and I know they don't get that on a regular basis.
I'm waiting for Janessa and Will to come back so I can hear all about their date. I'm excited, really. I know she'll come back a little different. And, after news spreads of their date, I'm sure we'll be hearing from Jasmine with her date plans ...
Actually, I was really pleased to see him leave with her. Of course, the woman is our youngest daughter, Janessa.
At seven, this little girl is a hoot. She has the sweetest heart of all time. Every time I get down about something or stressed about work, I know within minutes Janessa will retreat somewhere with a bunch of paper and markers and then emerge with a note saying how amazing I am and how she loves that I'm her mommy and that everyone will do better to make my life less stressful. Yes, I have gotten a note that reads almost exactly like that. Sigh.
As wonderful as she is, sometimes she gets overlooked. I hate to say that, but it's true. In our household, every day our 16 year old and 12 year old bring up something -- good or bad -- that we have to deal with. They're always talking. They're always asking to go some place. They're always in my face. And Janessa just finds her markers and notebooks and goes off to spread her amazing cheer someplace while I deal with my demanding older children. Oh, and let's not forget the baby. He kind of demands a lot of my time too.
This kills me.
So, this is why I was so delighted that my husband stepped out with her today. Janessa planned for this all week. She looked up the different movies they could see and made a list for Will. She got ready about three hours before the movie, but took time to pick out a cute outfit and do her hair. (Where she gets that, I have no idea ...) In all of that, I knew how incredibly important this was to her.
In a family of four busy children, we've found that dates with mom or dad can really make our kids days, weeks even. We've done these dates for quite a while. We've tinkered with a date schedule, but found that it's more fun when the dates come spontaneously. Jadyn and I took a recent trip to Dairy Queen because he was begging for a mother-son date. I usually have the best time on these dates. In fact, I laughed so hard at Dairy Queen with Jadyn. I came away thinking, "Wow, my son is sooooooo funny." It's a good time to actually see my children up close and personal. Sometimes I think it's crazy that I need a date with my child to get some valuable face time with them. Then again, it really allows them to have my FULL attention and I know they don't get that on a regular basis.
I'm waiting for Janessa and Will to come back so I can hear all about their date. I'm excited, really. I know she'll come back a little different. And, after news spreads of their date, I'm sure we'll be hearing from Jasmine with her date plans ...
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
10 Observations from a Road Trip
I went to Madison, Wisconsin for two days, without the hubby and without the kids. Wow. It's been a long time since I've traveled anywhere alone. Don't get me wrong. I missed them incredibly. In fact, I realized that my identity has been really wrapped up in them in recent years. Here's a few more things I observed along the way. Some are personal to me; others are just random things I noticed.
1. I like adventure. I was talking to my sister while I was gone and she said, "I would never be able to drive to Madison alone and stay in a hotel alone and do all of that alone." I laughed out loud, because that seems so foreign to me. Granted, going to Madison is not really an adventure, but like I said before, it has been a long time since I've gone anywhere by myself. I had forgotten how much I like the thrill of not knowing what's ahead on the road, literally and figuratively. Maybe this explains why, at 16, I jumped in my car and thought I could make it to Chicago alone ...
2. Why do hotel rooms seem so much bigger when it's just one person staying there?
3. My family still needs me even when I'm 250 miles away. At least that's how I'm explaining the texts and phone calls that kept coming from them even though they knew I was nowhere near.
4. I really didn't need the 9 pillows that the Marriott provided. Although, they were pretty comfy.
5. The mini-shampoos and lotions are really good in some hotels. I mean really good. I take all of them home with me.
6. Rude people and nice people are found equally no matter where you go.
7. Rolling suitcases make life so much easier. Books, toiletries, shoes and clothes are heavy when you lug them around in a duffle bag.
8. Does anyone remember when hotels (and society in general) weren't so "eco-friendly?" You could ask housekeeping to wash your towels and give you new linens every night without feeling guilty. Not so much anymore.
9. Wisconsin hotels publish their room rates and the statutes that govern those rates in their hotel rooms. Does anyone else pay attention to that? Can't they at least put a good Cosmo or Time or People magazine in the rooms instead?
10. Despite the "adventure," it feels good to come home.
1. I like adventure. I was talking to my sister while I was gone and she said, "I would never be able to drive to Madison alone and stay in a hotel alone and do all of that alone." I laughed out loud, because that seems so foreign to me. Granted, going to Madison is not really an adventure, but like I said before, it has been a long time since I've gone anywhere by myself. I had forgotten how much I like the thrill of not knowing what's ahead on the road, literally and figuratively. Maybe this explains why, at 16, I jumped in my car and thought I could make it to Chicago alone ...
2. Why do hotel rooms seem so much bigger when it's just one person staying there?
3. My family still needs me even when I'm 250 miles away. At least that's how I'm explaining the texts and phone calls that kept coming from them even though they knew I was nowhere near.
4. I really didn't need the 9 pillows that the Marriott provided. Although, they were pretty comfy.
5. The mini-shampoos and lotions are really good in some hotels. I mean really good. I take all of them home with me.
6. Rude people and nice people are found equally no matter where you go.
7. Rolling suitcases make life so much easier. Books, toiletries, shoes and clothes are heavy when you lug them around in a duffle bag.
8. Does anyone remember when hotels (and society in general) weren't so "eco-friendly?" You could ask housekeeping to wash your towels and give you new linens every night without feeling guilty. Not so much anymore.
9. Wisconsin hotels publish their room rates and the statutes that govern those rates in their hotel rooms. Does anyone else pay attention to that? Can't they at least put a good Cosmo or Time or People magazine in the rooms instead?
10. Despite the "adventure," it feels good to come home.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Lessons Learned from Valentine's Day
A good friend of mine posted on FB that Valentine's Day sure does change when you have kids. Boy, is she right! I was thinking the exact same thing yesterday. But I was pleasantly surprised at how much fun I had making Valentine's Day special for the whole fam, and not just Will and I. Actually, it was a pretty good reality check for me.
When I knew that Will and I weren't going to be able to celebrate as a couple over the weekend and that Valentine's Day fell on a Monday (who scheduled that, by the way?), I thought I should do something to incorporate the kids. It's been a while since we've had the means to do gifts & flowers and the whole Valentine works for the kids, so when I found out that Jasmine didn't have plans with her beau and more amazingly that nobody had any extracurricular activities that night, I knew this would be a great opportunity to spread the love.
What I realized yesterday, really what I had forgotten, is how much I love to love. I love to give gifts. I love to make people happy with kind little gestures. I am good at giving love. Rather, I used to be. This whole loving others thing (especially those who really matter) has not been my forte in recent years, because I have been so wrapped up in what I'm not getting. Valentine's Day is the perfect example of this. Usually, I focus on how I could make Valentine's Day special for Will and I. Worse, I was always expecting my husband to make Valentine's Day special for me. Oh my, I said it. But it's true. I am a hopeless romantic, so when I think of a good Valentine's Day, I think of flowers, chocolates, gifts, a romantic dinner, an evening out on the town, everything you see in the movies.
What's happened though is life. Kids, jobs, errands, bills ... did I say kids? Because of all of the commitments we have now, Valentine's Day hasn't been the same for a while. Valentine's Day comes and goes with little fanfare and I'm left with disappointment and resentment, not flowers and gifts. Not the best attitude for a day reserved for love.
But, this year, I was determined to make the best of it. So, I sent out formal invitations to my kids and hubby "cordially inviting" them to a Valentine's dinner. I splurged on steak and shrimp, sparkling juice, flowers for everyone, and little gifts so everyone could feel special. Everyone dressed up for the dinner and we had fun reading through all the Valentine's cards everyone received. I had so much fun making an event out of this day that I'm pretty sure I was glowing by the end of it.
I learned something huge this Valentine's Day. When I take the focus off of me and what I'm not getting or what I think I deserve, and when I stop throwing an inner tantrum, pity-party for myself and I take the time to focus on other people, man I feel good! This has been one of the best Valentine's Days I've had in a long time. Oh, and while I was busy trying to make everything work for our dinner, my husband was out exceeding my expectations for Valentine's Day. Funny how that works, huh?
I'm hoping I can take a little of that Valentine's Day love and spread it around everyday. Maybe not steak and shrimp and gifts everyday, but I think I can make it work.
When I knew that Will and I weren't going to be able to celebrate as a couple over the weekend and that Valentine's Day fell on a Monday (who scheduled that, by the way?), I thought I should do something to incorporate the kids. It's been a while since we've had the means to do gifts & flowers and the whole Valentine works for the kids, so when I found out that Jasmine didn't have plans with her beau and more amazingly that nobody had any extracurricular activities that night, I knew this would be a great opportunity to spread the love.
What I realized yesterday, really what I had forgotten, is how much I love to love. I love to give gifts. I love to make people happy with kind little gestures. I am good at giving love. Rather, I used to be. This whole loving others thing (especially those who really matter) has not been my forte in recent years, because I have been so wrapped up in what I'm not getting. Valentine's Day is the perfect example of this. Usually, I focus on how I could make Valentine's Day special for Will and I. Worse, I was always expecting my husband to make Valentine's Day special for me. Oh my, I said it. But it's true. I am a hopeless romantic, so when I think of a good Valentine's Day, I think of flowers, chocolates, gifts, a romantic dinner, an evening out on the town, everything you see in the movies.
What's happened though is life. Kids, jobs, errands, bills ... did I say kids? Because of all of the commitments we have now, Valentine's Day hasn't been the same for a while. Valentine's Day comes and goes with little fanfare and I'm left with disappointment and resentment, not flowers and gifts. Not the best attitude for a day reserved for love.
But, this year, I was determined to make the best of it. So, I sent out formal invitations to my kids and hubby "cordially inviting" them to a Valentine's dinner. I splurged on steak and shrimp, sparkling juice, flowers for everyone, and little gifts so everyone could feel special. Everyone dressed up for the dinner and we had fun reading through all the Valentine's cards everyone received. I had so much fun making an event out of this day that I'm pretty sure I was glowing by the end of it.
I learned something huge this Valentine's Day. When I take the focus off of me and what I'm not getting or what I think I deserve, and when I stop throwing an inner tantrum, pity-party for myself and I take the time to focus on other people, man I feel good! This has been one of the best Valentine's Days I've had in a long time. Oh, and while I was busy trying to make everything work for our dinner, my husband was out exceeding my expectations for Valentine's Day. Funny how that works, huh?
I'm hoping I can take a little of that Valentine's Day love and spread it around everyday. Maybe not steak and shrimp and gifts everyday, but I think I can make it work.
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